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| Hey Presto! My God is stronger than yours. |
Was Christianity new? Was Christianity unique? Let's talk about miracles Lousy
with miracles To start understanding
all those Pagan miracles, let's start with one Christian miracle... |
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| An
early Christian miracle T The second miracle, performed by Jesus' disciple, the apostle Peter, caused Simon to fall from the air -- proving whose Christ had the greatest power.
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"
Now when he [Simon Magnus]
was in Rome, he mightily disturbed the Church, and subverted many, and
brought them over to himself, and astonished the Gentiles with
his skill in magic, insomuch that once,...he...promised
he would fly in the air; and...indeed
he was carried up into the air by demons, and did fly on high in the air,
saying that he was returning into heaven, and that he would supply them
with good things from thence... I [Peter]
stretched out my hands to heaven ... and
besought God through the Lord Jesus to throw down this pestilent fellow,
and... When I had said these words,
Simon was deprived of his powers, and fell down headlong. |
By the way, this Star Wars force-and-the-dark-side understanding of miracles isn't something Christianity picked up late. It's right there in the bible. Here's Mark's gospel describing a sick woman touching Jesus' garment; the power flows out of Jesus and instantly heals her. Jesus feels His power draining away, so He turns to say, Who touched me?
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And a woman, who had an issue
of blood twelve years, and had suffered many things of many physicians,
and had spent all that she had, and was nothing bettered, but rather grew
worse, having heard the things concerning Jesus, came in the crowd behind,
and touched his garment. For
she said, If I touch but his garments, I shall be made whole. And straightway
the fountain of her blood was dried up; and she felt in her body that
she was healed of her plague. And straightway Jesus,
perceiving in himself that the power from him had gone forth, turned
him about in the crowd, and
said, "Who touched my garments?" |
| Did you catch that? Those are the miracles on one page of one book. There are hundreds of books, thousands and thousands of miracles. Pick up any ancient text; Pagan or Christian, it's got miracles in it. Guaranteed. |
| On account of which, here at POCM I can't list every pagan miracle I know about; we'll run out of patience before we run out of miracles. So I'll tell you about just a few -- a few that, if you've read your Bible, are going to sound mighty familiar. Here we go. If
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You know that before Jesus, people believed in Gods. You know those pre- Christian Gods did supernatural things -- that's sort of what made them Gods. The supernatural things those other Gods did -- those were miracles. In fact now you think about it, it's hard to imagine a God who doesn't do miracles. Miracles are one of the things that make a God a God. Duh. Was Christianity new and unique? Nope. Jesus did miracles -- but Pagan Gods did them first. So there. |
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Asclepius healed the sick and raised the dead.
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"Asclepius was the son of Apollo [a god] and Coronis [a mortal woman -- is the pattern sinking in here?]...he healed many sick whose lives had been despaired of, and... he brought back to life many who had died." [Diodorus Siculus, The Library of History, 4.7.1.1- 2] |
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Asclepius raised at least six dead men:
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"I found [in writing this history] some who are reported to have been raised by him [Asclepius] , to wit, Capaneus and Lycurgus, as Stesichorus [645- 555 BC] says... Hippolytus, as the author of the Naupactica reports[6th century BC], Tyndareus, as Panyasis [c. 500 BC] says; Hymnaneus, as the Orphics report; and Glaucus...as Melasogoras [5th century BC] relates." Apollodorus, The Library, 3.1.3- 3] |
| and | "When Hippolytus was killed,...Asclepius raised him from the dead." [Pausanias, Corinth, Description of Greece, 1.27.5] |
| Asclepius healed blindness | "Alcetas of Halieis. The blind man saw a dream [while sleeping in Asclepius' temple]. It seemed to him the god came up to him and with his fingers opened his eyes....At daybreak he walked out sound." [Inscriptiones Graecae, 4.1.121 - 122, Stele 1.18] |
| and | " Hermon of Thasus. His blindness was cured by Asclepius." [Inscriptiones Graecae, 4.1.121 - 122, Stele 2.22] |
| and | "To Valerius Aper, a blind soldier, the god revealed that he should go and take the blood of a white cock along with hone and compound and eye salve and for three days should apply it to his eyes. And he could see again and went and publicly offered thanks to the god." [Inscriptiones Graecae, 14.96 ] |
| Asclepius heals a mute boy | "A voiceless boy. He came as a supplicant to the Temple [of Asclepius]...the temple servant demanded the boys father...to bring...the thank offering for the cure. But the boy suddenly said, "I promise." His father was startled at this and asked him to repeat it. The boy repeated the words and after that became well." [Inscriptiones Graecae 4.1.121- 122; Stele 1.5] |
| Asclepius heals a lame man | "Nicanor, a lame man. While he was sitting wide-awake [in Asclepius' temple], a boy snatched his crutch from him and ran away. but Nicanor got up, pursued him, and do became well." [Inscriptiones Graecae 4.1.121- 122; Stele 1.16] |
| And | "Cleimenes of Argus, paralyzed in body. He came to the Abaton and slept there and saw a vision... When he woke up he took a bath and walked out unhurt." [Inscriptiones Graecae 4.1.121- 122; Stele 2.37] |
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Isis healed the sick
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"Isis...finds her greatest delight in the healing of mankind... In proof of this...they advance not legends...but manifest facts...For standing above the sick in their sleep she gives them aid for their diseases and works remarkable cures upon such as submit themselves to her..." [Diodorus Siculus, The Library of History, 1.25.2 -5] |
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Isis cures blindness |
"Numbers who have lost the use of their eyes or of some other part of their body, whenever they turn for help to this goddess, are restored to their previous condition. ." [Diodorus Siculus, The Library of History, 1.25.5] |
| Isis and immortality | "Furthermore, she [Isis] discovered also the drug which gives immortality." [Diodorus Siculus, The Library of History, 1.25.6] |
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Pythagoras: prophecy, healing, calming storms
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"Verified predictions [by Pythagoras] of earthquakes are handed down, also, that he immediately chases away pestilence, suppressed violent winds and hail, [and] calmed storms o both rivers and seas. [Porphyry, Life of Pythagoras 29] |
| Poseidon crossed the water: | "Then gamboled the sea beasts beneath him [Poseidon] on every side from out of the deep, for well they knew their lord, and in gladness the sea parted before him." [Homer, Iliad, 29] |
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Alexander the Great parts the sea
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Quoting Callisthenes [now lost], "[the sea] withdrew from before his [Alexander's] march as though recognizing him, and that it too did not fail to know its lord. " [Eustathius, On the Iliad, 29] |
| Lucian describes men running on the sea and walking on water | "We came in sight of many men running over the sea..." [Lucian, A true Story, 2.4] and: "I saw him soar through the air in broad daylight and walk on water..." [Lucian, The Lover of Lies, 13] |
Dionysus
changes water into wine |
"At fixed times in their city a fountain of wine, of unusually sweet fragrance, flows of its own accord from the earth." [Diodorus Siculus, The Library of History 3.66.3] "The water flowing from a spring in the temple of Father Liber [Dionysus] on the island of Andros always has the flavor of wine on January 5th: the day is called God's Gift Day. [Pliny the Elder, Natural History 2.106] |
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The
next time you're in Church Wow! |
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How come were miracles so common? Because the ancients didn't have science, that's how come. Inventing civilization? That the ancients got. Everyday all around you stuff like why the wind blows and what the sun is? That they didn't get.
Take away our rules and Dorothy, you're not in Kansas any more. The ancients had different rules. The sun traveled across the sky because God moved it, physically moved it. What made people sick was demon possession. And they didn't mean sissy spiritual demon possession, they meant actual, physical demons living in your body, making you sick.
So when we say an ancient God "performed a miracle" -- say, raised a dead person -- we mean he broke the rules of nature, and for us that's evidence he was outside nature, supernatural. But to an ancient, a God raising the dead didn't break the rules, it fit the rules perfectly. Gods had extra powers, and they used them. That's what made them Gods. Which made for a system with a lot of miracles. Cool, huh? |
Christianity:
Miracles everywhere And "the apostles" weren't just Jesus disciples (that part of the myth developed later anyway), the apostles were, basically, Jesus earliest followers who had the Force with them. That theology made for a lot of miracles. Thumb through an early Christian book; just like Pagan books it will be full of miracles. Trying to explain how common miracles were in early Christian culture is like trying to explain how stinking big the ocean is ... yadda yadda yadda. You know the drill. |
| What
do I mean? Here are a few early Christian miracles, from among the thousands recorded. |
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Here's the apostle Peter again, describing how the Samaritan Christ Simon flew, and how he, Peter, knocked Simon out of the sky with God's power. After which folks watching, seeing that Peter's Jesus-power was greater than Simon's demon-power, came over to Jesus' Christianity. That's how early Christianity used miracles. To convert. And you've already noticed, they used miracles not in our modern way-way-unusual-must-be-god sense. They used them in the ancient Pagan force-and-the-dark-side sense. Simon had miraculous power -- no one denied it -- but Peter's Jesus-power was greater. Better switch to Jesus. In fact force-and-the-dark-side miracle working was the main technique earliest Christianity used to get people to join up. The early Church wasn't filled by preaching. It wasn't filled by good works or living a life of holy example. It was filled by magic. Wow.
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How Simon, Desiring to Fly by Some Magical Arts, Fell Down Headlong from on High at the Prayers of Peter, and Brake His Feet, and Hands, and Ankle-Bones. IX.
Now when he [Simon Magnus] was in Rome, he mightily disturbed
the Church, and subverted many, and brought them over to himself, and
astonished the Gentiles with his skill in magic, insomuch
that once,...he...promised he would fly in the air; and when all the people
were in suspense at this, I prayed by myself. And indeed
he was carried up into the air by demons, and did fly on high in the air,
saying that he was returning into heaven, and that he would supply them
with good things from thence... I stretched
out my hands to heaven, with my mind, and
besought God through the Lord Jesus to throw down this pestilent fellow,
and... When I had said these words,
Simon was deprived of his powers, and fell down headlong with a
great noise, and was violently dashed against the ground, and had his
hip and ankle-bones broken; and the
people cried out, saying, "There is one only God, whom Peter rightly
preaches in truth." And many left him; but some who
were worthy of perdition continued in his wicked doctrine. And after this
manner the most atheistical heresy of the Simonians was first established
in Rome; and the devil wrought by the rest of the false apostles
also. |
Magic power was magic power. Even the Pagan dark-side powers could -- did -- prophesy Christian victory. When Constantine defeated the Emperor Maxentius, with God's help, even the Pagan Sibylline books saw it coming >> |
Discord
arose in the city and the emperor [Maxentius] was upbraided for abdicating
responsibility….. Disconcerted by this cry, he scurried away and,
summoning some senators, he ordered the
Sibylline books to be consulted. In them was found the statement
that on that day the enemy of Rome
would perish. |
Here
are a few more, from the thousands recorded, dark-side
miracles in early Christianity >> |
[I]n the period after the emperor Alexander [Severus, 193 - 211 AD],….. There were numerous frequent earthquakes… some towns were even swallowed up by cracks opening in the ground and taken down to the depths.… Suddenly a woman came to the fore who presented herself as a prophetess experiencing states of ecstasy and acted as through filled with the Holy Spirit. But she was so overwhelmed by the onset of the leading daemons that for a long time she seduced and deceived the brethren…. that evil spirit [in the woman], being able to foresee that an earthquake was about to happen, sometimes pretended that it was going to bring about what it saw would happen anyway…. He also made the woman go barefoot in the freezing snow in the harsh winter, without her being troubled or harmed in any way by the outing…. |
Demons
with the power of prophecy >>. |
[S]uddenly
there appeared before him an exorcist, a man of proven character….
By subtle deceit, the daemon had even
foretold shortly beforehand
that an unbelieving assailant
would come against him. |